Closure With My Father

It was 2018 when I called my dad to wish him a Happy Birthday. May 24th. I hadnt really had any communication with him over the years other than to say a quick Happy Father's Day or Happy Birthday due to the strain of the relationship and some personal issues that he had been dealing with for several years that I chose to keep my distance. So Ive called him daddy for as long as I can remember but he was my stepfather, he married my mom when I was 7 but to be honest he stepped in when my biological father went MIA for periods of time. Anyhooo. I made the call like I always do every year, and like always I could hear him smiling from ear to ear through the phone which always did something to my heart no matter what. But this time He said baby girl I just want to thank you for never missing a year. He explained how it meant so much to him and then he said something that I never thought I'd hear. He asked for forgiveness, he apologized for everything he had ever done to me. And let me tell you there was something as he spoke that broke within me.

This was a 3-hour conversation of my father my daddy pouring out his heart, releasing, and taking ownership and responsibility for his actions from so long ago.

This day he gave me closure of what was, and he created what was yet to come.

He released the guilt which in return released my pain. He died unexpectedly by himself at a gas station a few years later, and although I wanted to be there, I couldn't bear to see him in the casket. And while this wasn't our last conversation before, he passed, matter of fact I had even stopped to see him while I was in Atlanta. This is the conversation that I hold on to along with the many great memories of us going fishing overnight on the weekend, our trip to Detroit to visit family, our school clothes shopping spree along the way, trip to Canada, Mexico, Connecticut with the spinning restaurant, Niagara Falls just to name a few. This is now my only memories of my dad and I will continue to cherish them.